


So Cold

by trxgicbeauty



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Broken, Cheating, Depression, M/M, affair, cheating!Louis, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 08:01:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1170647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trxgicbeauty/pseuds/trxgicbeauty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where life isn't simple or beautiful or easy.</p><p>Or, the one where Harry and Louis have been married for nearly five nears and Louis is having an affair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Cold

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even sure, okay. This was inspired by the song So Cold by Ben Cocks. It's unedited for the most part so there are probably a fair amount of spelling errors.

 

It was a typical work day at the office for Harry. On the right of his desk sat a mug (lacking tea) and a frame with his wedding picture in it. To the left were manuscripts of stories that needed his editing and review. He usually followed the rule that if by the fifth chapter he wasn’t completely blown away, it ended up in the trash. It seemed rather harsh but if he approved the manuscript it went to his boss and if his boss didn’t like it, Harry got in trouble.

He grabs the first draft and flips it open. “Trading Yesterday”, it read. The first chapter was beautiful and Harry doesn’t want to stop reading. The protagonist was a bit of a pessimist, but that was only because he had been diagnosed with a brain tumor. His wife had left him several months before and now he spent most of his time in the hospital.

Life could be rather horrible, Harry thinks.

He’s on the fourth chapter when he places a check near the title, marking that this really needed to go to his boss. Normally, Harry doesn’t pay much attention to the time, especially since he was one of the few that actually enjoyed his job. But when his stomach growls, he checks the time on his phone. Half noon. Louis normally came to pick him up at noon so they could grab lunch together.

Harry doesn’t want to seem too needy, but he calls his husband anyway, just to make sure everything was alright. (Manchester had a scarily high percentage of car crashes; that didn’t settle quite right with him.) He’s sent to voicemail and after calling once more, he gives up. Something might have come up at the school. A surprise meeting that Lou forgot about. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Instead of moping around, he walks out into the lobby where Perrie sat at her desk, typing away. This month, her hair was a light violet that came just above her shoulders. She was base of the JE Publishing Company: she controlled who talked to who, answered the phone calls and annoying emails, and decided if the draft was really worthy of being given to Harry or Zayn, the two editors.

“Hey Pez,” Harry greets. He stops by in front of her desk and fiddles with the colorful pens she has sitting in a mug shaped like a penguin. “Got any lunch plans? Or are you waiting out on Zayn to finally sweep you off your feet.” He smirks proudly at the last past and Perrie rolls her eyes.

“What? Mr. Handsome is actually too busy to go out to lunch today? I swear, he doesn’t even work. What kind of teacher can leave school for lunch every day?” They both laugh and Perrie stands up to grab her coat and bag. “I’m thinking sushi. It’s been much too long since I’ve had a spicy tuna roll.”

They walk into the elevator and press the button for first floor. JE Publishing Company was a decent sized building with nearly thirty three floors. Granted, each floor had a different purpose, some not even having anything to do with manuscripts, the editing floor sat high up on the twenty seventh level.

“Still no luck with Zayn?” Harry inquires as the exit out of the elevator and into the ginormous lobby of the corporation.

“My plan will work,” Perrie replies confidently, pursing her pink lips, “Zayn’s just strange and quiet and rarely leaves his office. I can get a man without your help.” 

“This has been going on for five months now. And he doesn’t leave his office because the lad is scared of heights and his office doesn’t have a window.” Harry laughs obnoxious and Perrie punches him in the arm despite the fact what he said is true. “You know I can talk to him for you, right?”

“I don’t need a wingman,” Perrie mumbles and crosses her arms over her chest.

The walk into the restaurant Ming’s (which is the most common Asian Food Restaurant name there is) and take a seat at one of the tables. Their waitress is short, but not Asian, which was disappointing but they go there a lot so it was expected and Harry keeps his comments to himself. They order their food and their drinks and the short waitress walks away to a different table.

“Other than the dilemma of not getting the gorgeous Zayn Malik’s attention, how’s the exciting life of Perrie Edwards?” 

“Not as exciting as I’d like it to be. Jade’s been seeing this one wanker for the past month and he’s always over at out flat. I think he has a thing for me but I don’t exactly know how to tell that to Jade. She’s a bit over dramatic when it comes to guys.” Perrie sighs and pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “And also, work has been stressful on my end. Simon keeps on coming to me saying I need to be more efficient but a girl can only type so fast!” She lifts her hands into the air and wiggles her fingers to get her point across.

“Sounds like you need to be laid,” Harry states. The short waitress brings out their drinks: Harry’s sweetened iced tea and Perrie’s lemon water.

“Sex is not the answer to everything Harry,” Pez groans. 

“But it really helps,” Harry adds with a wink.

“How are things going with Louis? I mean, you guys have been married five years?” Harry smiles brightly thinking about him. Sure, they got married young. But he knew that he couldn’t imagine life without his beautiful husband.

“Great, amazing, magical,” he rambles off. “I mean, right now we’re saving up for a proper house right now. And with Louis’ promotion he got last month, we’ll be able to buy the little ranch house over on Maple Street in the suburbs. It’s absolutely perfect.” 

“You sound like a teenage girl when you speak, you know that right?” Perrie asks with a laugh. “Have you brought up the whole adoption thing with him yet?” 

Harry’s cheeks flush pink, “Well. I was thinking about waiting until we moved. There’s two extra bedrooms in the house and plenty of space. Our flat is a bit crowded right now. I think Lou will be on board with it, though.” The thought of adopting children with Louis gave Harry goose bumps. Too many times had he day dreamed on the job about living in the beautiful ranch house with little toddlers running around and maybe a dob (if Louis wanted), but definitely a cat. Then they could put up a small jungle gym in the back yard since the lot had a big space. Maybe they could even save up for a pool.

“Earth to Harry.” Perrie waves her hand in front of his face. “You two are sickening cute. Just promise not to do it in your office again. There are some things I prefer not to walk in on.” Harry blushes again. It was a onetime thing and Perrie happened to come in at the wrong time. 

Their food comes and they eat quickly so they could get back on time. Part of Harry still wondered where Louis was and if everything was alright but he knew he’d call him later with an explanation. Harry pays for the bill (despite Perrie arguing about paying for her half) and they walk back to the building.

The rest of the afternoon Harry spent reading the manuscript Trading Yesterday correcting small editing errors here and there, but other than that, the draft was absolutely wonderful. He shoots Simon an email saying that he found a really good draft that he needs to check into as soon as possible. (And also slyly asks to get off early on Friday so he could surprise Louis at work.)

When he starts reading the next manuscript, he’s thinks it’s written by a five year old with access to a computer. It’s trashed before he reads the second chapter. His shift ends at 5, but he starts packing up at 4:45 since it was too late to get started on anything else. He puts Trading Yesterday into his messenger bag for Louis to read because he’s an English teacher and knows how to appreciate a good novel. It was something they bonded with.

The lights in his office flip off and on his way out, he stops by Zayn’s office. “Successful day?” he asks, standing in the doorway. Zayn looks up and pushes his thick framed glassed back into his nose. 

“’slright, didn’t read anything spectacular. But I have a good feelin’ bout tomorrow.” He cracks a smile and leans back in his chair. JE Publishing liked to often take students fresh out of uni and help them get on their feet. That’s how he, Zayn and Perrie had all landed their jobs so young. 

“I read one you should check out when you get the time. Well, I better be off if I want to start dinner before it gets too late.” Harry waves and turns out the door before looking over his shoulder and saying, “If you’re ever lonely on a Friday night, I hear Perrie’s available.” And then he leaves.

The sky is already starting to turn dark when he leaves and heads out to the corporation’s parking garage. It’s cold and looked like it could start raining any minute: he wouldn’t be surprised if it did. Manchester wasn’t known for the best weather. He shoots Louis a text saying he’s just now leaving work and should be home soon.

His car roars to life as he starts the familiar path home. Traffic isn’t bad for a Wednesday evening and his stomach growls viciously as he drives along the paved roads. Their flat was on the opposite side of the city in a beautiful complex with grassy areas and lovely restaurants. He always loved Manchester and Louis fell in love with the city when Harry first brought him here.

He pulls into the familiar lot – it was too dark to see without the headlights of his car – and he puts his car in park. His bag hangs on his shoulder and he enters their flat. The lights are off (which is strange.) Normally, Louis was home by this time. Harry doesn’t think anything of it. There were certain nights when paper’s needed to be graded and Louis always claims that Harry distracts him too much so he’ll stay late. Especially if there was a meeting during his free period.

The flat was beautiful and simple. It had one master bedroom with a king sized bed and a walk in closet, two bathrooms, a decent kitchen (with all the right appliances), a living room with a built in fire place, and a study where they kept all of their favorite novels and often spent time when things got stressful. It wasn’t entirely big, but they were fortunate with everything they had. Once they got enough, the ranch would be there’s. 

There’s a post it note on the refrigerator that reads craving your spaghetti. –Louis :) x. It was something they always did whenever Harry had to go into work early. Lou would leave him notes on the fridge…mostly dinner requests. Harry smiles to himself and starts to get out the needed materials for his special pasta. 

It cooks rather quickly and Louis still isn’t home. He throws some biscuits into the oven to pass time because he hates calling Louis when he’s at work or driving home. The timer beeps at fifteen minutes and Harry sets the tiny table, putting the two plates across from each other. 

Louis walks through the door thirty minutes later, rosy cheeked and partly damp from the drizzling rain that started to fall shortly after Harry got home. “I’m sorry about being home late,” is the first thing Louis says before pecking his lips lightly. “There was this meeting today at lunch and then the copy machine jammed so I couldn’t copy the poems I was supposed to have my class read and everything just spiraled down from there.” 

He strips off his coat and hangs it on the coat rack before sitting down at the table across from Harry. “It looks absolutely delicious babe. Biscuits too?” he beams and Harry gets this satisfactory grin on his face. “You’re too good to me.”

“Might want to heat it up a little bit. It’s been sitting out for a little bit,” Harry says before they start eating. Dinner was always the time they talked about their day. Louis always came home with funny stories to tell about the children at school. He taught fifth year students and he made them seem like little shits (even though they both knew Louis loved them). Harry tells Louis about the manuscript and Louis promises he’ll start reading it first thing tomorrow.  
Once they finish eating, Louis picks up the kitchen and Harry changes out of his work clothes and into comfy sweatpants and a t-shirt. They spent the rest of the night cuddled up on the couch, watching reruns of Friends.

“Louis?” 

“Hmmm?” he mumbles into his chest.

“Do you want to make love?” 

“Babe, I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to head to bed. Maybe tomorrow, yeah?” Harry nods his head and ignores the fact it’s been two weeks since they’ve fucked and he’s craving Louis’ body. They both get up and go to bed.

Something seemed off to Harry, but he pushed it away and cuddled closer to Louis.

 

Louis came home late every night that week and Harry didn’t say one thing about it. Thursday, he ate on his own and watched TV. Testing was coming for the schools and Harry knew how much stress it put Louis under. He needed to get done what he needed to get done or else he’d be a grouch.  
He wasn’t sure when Louis arrived home because he had dozed off on the sofa with television on and the sound of the microwave woke him up. Louis didn’t say anything. Harry went back to sleep in their room and patiently waited to feel the warmth of his body next to his. He fell asleep before he could.

 

“I brought you some coffee,” Perrie says, setting the Starbucks cup on Harry’s desk. “Everything alright? You’ve seen a bit off all week.” She sits in one of the comfortable chairs on the other side of Harry’s desk and sits crisscrossed.

“Thanks Pez. I don’t know, something’s off with Louis,” he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “Maybe I’m just over-reacting? Dunno. Like I know he gets stressed with schooling and the testing coming up soon but I can’t remember him being this bad. He’s worked late every day this week.” 

“I wouldn’t think too much of it babe,” Perrie consoles. “Maybe he’s on his man-period? I’m positive guys have those. And it’s much worse than any typical female period. That’s for sure.” Harry cracks a smile and Perrie stands up. “Don’t think too much about it. Leave early today and go visit him at work. I’ll cover for you.”

“I owe you, Pez.” 

“Actually, this is repaying you for talking to Zayn. Tonight’s the first Friday night I won’t be spending at the flat eating Ben & Jerry’s while re-watching Gossip Girl.” Perrie leaves, shutting the office door behind him. 

Harry begins reading another manuscript when his cellphone buzzes. There’s a text message from Louis telling him that he’s working him late again but he should be home in time to go out to eat. He sends back a ‘have a good day :)’ and continues on with his work, his mind not fully being where it should be. He reaches chapter four and decides to trash it just because the protagonist Jenny really bothered him.

The day seems to drag on longer than usual. Harry reads and edits and eventually he gives up entirely and goes through emails he’s been procrastinating on. There’s nothing majorly important there so he starts to shut everything down and pack up. He throws the empty coffee cup in the trash as he locks up his office. Perrie is sitting at her desk and she waves to him on her way out (and notes that she’s more dressed up than usual and is actually wearing lip gloss.)

It feels strange leave two and a half hours early for work. The sky is actually light and for the first time in a while, the sun is shining down on the city of Manchester. He waves to the lobby workers and smiles at the janitor’s mopping the floor. Today was going to be a good day. He’ll take Louis to someplace nice and then they’ll go home and fuck him senseless.

He drives to the school where Louis worked and it was a rather short ride. The traffic was in his favor and he arrived within five minutes. Part of him wished he had stopped and picked up some coffee for Louis but it was too late for that now. He parks his car and walks through the entrance. Janice, the secretary, smiles widely when she sees him. She was an older lady who, like everyone else, absolutely adored the charming, curly-haired lad.

“Good afternoon, Harry!” she chirps. “Here to visit Louis, I presume?” 

“Yes ma’am!” 

She types something into her desktop and frowns slightly at the computer. “It looks like Louis left sick today. Did he not tell you?” Harry’s mouth feels dry and his stomach sinks to the floor. No he didn’t tell me, he thinks bitterly to himself. 

“You know, I must have missed his call!” Harry responds, lying through his teeth. “Have a good weekend, Janice!” he says before exiting the school.

All he wanted to know is why Louis would lie to him.

Louis got home at five that night, exploding through the flat door with an adorable smile on his face and the scarf harry got him for Christmas around his neck. (And most certainly not sick.) “Hello babe,” he greets with a kiss. “Where are we going out to eat tonight? I was thinking that Asian grill you love downtown. Then, maybe we could go catch a film later. Or ice skating? We haven’t done that in a while.” 

Everything in Harry’s mind was screaming to ask why Louis had lied to him and why he left work early. But Louis just looked so…happy and excited. Harry was probably overthinking everything. Maybe Louis just had some stuff to do. Or maybe he was shopping for Harry’s birthday (which was in two weeks). That was probably it.

“Sounds absolutely lovely,” Harry beams and kisses Louis again just because he loves the way his unshaved stubble feels against his skin and the smell of cologne and just fact that they had been married for five years and Louis still gave him butterflies.

Dinner is amazing and Louis is amazing, Harry thinks. Throughout the entire dinner, Louis was back to his usual lively self. It was refreshing to see him happy. Lately, he seemed to be spending more time in the study reading or planning lessons than with Harry. But now it was back to normal.

“We’re at an Asian grill…you’d think all the workers would be Asian,” Louis says rather loudly. 

“Lou!” Harry hisses and they both start laughing. Their food arrives and Louis gets some shrimp dish and Harry gets some chicken dish (that Louis makes a snarky comment about). 

“Let me try some,” Louis demands and Harry rolls his eyes but feeds him a bite across the table anyway. “It’s kinda hot,” he mumbles with a mouth full. “And spicy.” 

“Now let me try some of yours,” Harry says. Louis feeds him a bite off his fork and they both erupt into a fit of giggles but none of that really mattered.

The waitress comes back to their table and asks if she can get them anything to drink. “What’s the chances we can get some free champagne? We’re just married.” Louis looks at her with pleading eyes and a smirk. The young girl smiles at the both of them and Harry swats his husband for lying. 

“You twat. We’ve been married for five years!” he exclaims.

Louis rolls his eyes rather dramatically and the waitress giggles. “What my husband says is true…but we’re still pretty excited.” 

“I’ll be right out with some of our finest for you two lovebirds.” 

The night just seems to get better from there. After their dinner, Louis drags Harry to the ice arena where the two of them could hardly stay on their feet for the first five minutes. Eventually, Louis got past the awkward skates stage and had to help his husband out to keep him from breaking a leg. His limbs were so long he was rather clumsy.

It ended with very much needed sex. Neither of them could have been happier.

 

The weekend ended much too fast and Monday morning was harder than usual. Harry walks into the corporation and Perrie comes into his office and dishes all the details on her and Zayn’s date. (It must have went well since they were going out for lunch today.) 

“I should just be a match-maker.” Harry confirms after Perrie’s long spiel. “Friday night was a good date-night for everyone then, huh?” 

“Everything all good with you and Louis?” she inquires. 

“Never been better.” And he meant it until that night when he was sitting alone at the dinner table again.

Louis came home near eight o’clock and didn’t say anything. He ate dinner while Harry watched the football game on TV. After Louis cleaned up the kitchen, he joins Harry in the living room and Harry asks, “When will I get to eat a home-cooked meal with my husband again?” He doesn’t mean to sound harsh – he sounds more hurt than anything.

“Jesus Harry, I have stuff that I need to do,” Louis shoots back. “Not everyone sits at a desk all day reading half-ass manuscripts of books that will never been top-sellers.” Then he gets up and goes to their room.

Harry falls asleep on the couch that night and Louis doesn’t bother apologizing. The next morning, when he wakes up, Louis had already left for work (and there was no post-it note on the refrigerator.) Harry desperately wanted to know what had gone wrong from that short amount of time. What had happened? Did he do something wrong? He didn’t know. 

Is everything OK? Xx

The text was a safe way to communicate because he knew Louis wouldn’t look at his phone until he got to the school. Quickly, Harry gets a shower and ready’s himself for work. Most days, he made an attempt to dress up and look professional, but today he felt under the weather and exhausted. He slides some black pants up his long legs and looks for some sort of vest that matched. (He ends up wearing one of Louis’ top since he’s always had better taste in clothing than him.) 

Zayn is chatting up Perrie when Harry walks into the office and he stops by to say hello. “Do you feel okay, Harry?” Perrie asks, a look of concern flashing through her eyes. No, no I do not. 

Harry smiles reassuringly and says, “Yeh. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” – Because I slept on the couch because Louis came home late again, he adds in his mind. But his personal life wasn’t really Zayn or Perrie’s business and couple’s probably have fights here and there. 

“If you’re really not feelin’ good, mate, why don’t you do home?” Zayn suggests. “There’s nothin’ exciting happenin’ here anyway. Just take a couple of manuscripts home and read over them in some sweats. ‘m sure Simon wouldn’t mind.” He pats Harry on the back. 

“I guess you’re right. I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” he waves as we walks back over towards the elevators and his two co-worker’s call out goodbyes. 

It had been 45 minutes and Louis still hadn’t replied to his text. Their flat is warm and welcoming when he walks in and kicks off the uncomfortable work shoes that make his feet smell weird. He sighs loudly and does exactly what Zayn said to do: changes into some sweats. When he enters the bedroom, the bed is still unmade and sitting on the dresser is Louis’ cellphone. That would explain why he never answered, Harry thinks. The phone buzzes and Harry wonders who could be texting him while he’s at work.

Curiosity gets the best of him and he glances at the lock screen. 

Are we still up for tonight? ;) I miss your face and lunch isn’t enough time to spend with you.

Everything in Harry sinks to the floor and his stomach feels like it had been punched repeatedly multiple times. He recognized the name, Niall, and knew it was another one of the teachers that worked with Louis. Harry can’t take it – he unlocks Louis’ phone and scrolls through the conversation with Niall.

Last Week –  
Louis: I always have such a hard time keeping myself under control when I pass u in the hallway ;)  
Niall: goes both ways babe!! can’t wait for tonight ;)  
Louis: we can’t take as long. I think Harry has been getting suspicious… but then again, he wouldn’t know something was going on if it was right in front of his face ;)  
Niall: kinky. u still with that bloke?  
Louis: yeah…he wants to move us to this ugly ranch by maple st. let’s not talk about harry, I see enough of him everyday.  
Niall: whatever you want babe ;) just wait until i can wrap my hot mouth around your aching –

Harry can’t read anymore. He sprints to the bathroom and vomits everything he had eaten that morning. Louis was cheating on him. Louis was completely using him and lying to him. He hasn’t what Louis wanted. How long had this been going on? Was Niall the only one?

He’s crying now, leaning up against the cold, bathroom wall. Strangled sobs escape his lips and he’s still trying to figure out what he did wrong. He gave everything he had – and more, but that wasn’t enough. The text messages keep flashing through his mind. He and Niall had met a couple of times…the last time being a Christmas party that all the teacher’s threw. Harry knew exactly why he chose Niall over him. It was blatantly obvious.

 

Louis gets home that night and Harry’s eating pizza at the table. “Hey babe,” Louis greets, walking over and planting a chaste kiss on Harry’s lips. “’m really sorry about last night. That wasn’t fair to you, yeah? Just a stressful day at work I s’pose.” He sits down across from him and begins eating like everything was okay. 

“We all have those,” Harry says, “its okay.” His chest feels tight and he’s struggling to get oxygen to his lungs. Louis – the man he was madly in love with, the man he married five years ago in London, the man he wanted to adopt children with, sat in front of him. Everything inside of Harry was screaming to confront him about the text messages. To ask him why. But he doesn’t. Instead, Harry silently watches Louis eat his pizza, licking the sauce off his pink lips. 

“How was work?” Louis asks through the thick silence.

“It was great, yeah,” Harry answers. “What about you?”

“’slright. Would’ve been better if you were there.” And then this breathtaking grin appears on Lou’s lips and Harry feels like crying again. Because he knows it’s all a lie.

 

Life went on from there. A week passed and Harry went to work every day, chatted with Zayn and Perrie (whose relationship was skyrocketing), drank his coffee, read several manuscripts, went home, ate dinner, then laid in bed and cried. Louis would come home and different times and eventually climb under the sheets to him and snuggle close. 

Harry swore he could smell Niall on him.

Every day it got harder for Harry to get out of bed. And every day, he said less to Zayn and Perrie and got less of his work accomplished. The thoughts made him sick to his stomach yet, he wasn’t man enough to even confront Louis about it. Maybe because he was scared that he’d lose him for good if he did say something.

That was the worst part. Even as much as Louis was hurting him, Harry couldn’t stand leaving him. And that’s more than likely what would happen if he did try to talk to Louis about him. He’d leave. Then what would Harry do? He’d be alone – more alone than he was right now. 

Days passed and Harry stopped accepting Perrie and Zayn’s lunch invitations and he only left his office to use the washroom. He made no attempt to text Louis at work and Louis made no attempt to text him at work.

It was on a Wednesday, three weeks after Harry had stumbled upon the text messages, that he gets a phone call from Simon, requesting to see him in his office. Quickly, Harry rides the elevator to the top floor where Simon’s office was located. He’d only ever been to the top floor one other time and it thoroughly shocked him to see how extravagant and expensive everything looked. 

Cindy, Simon’s secretary, welcomes him with a fake smile and leads him down the long hallway. “Go right on in, he’s waiting for you,” she says, leaving Harry by himself. Harry walks in and he swears Simon’s office is bigger than the entire twenty-seventh floor.

“Hello Harry,” Simon greets. He’s seated behind his mahogany desk. “Please, take a seat.” Harry does as he’s told and sits in one of the plush seats on the other side of Simon’s desk. His eyes look over the expensive desk and sees the gold plaque with the engraved words Simon Cowell. 

“Now, I’m going to be very curt with you. You were one of my top employees and now, it seems like you never get any of your assignments done.” Harry’s face pales. “I’m not sure what the problem is, Mr. Styles, but it best be fixed or else I’ll be looking for a new editor.”

“Yes sir,” Harry manages to say.

“You may show yourself out now,” Simon says coldly and Harry does exactly that. 

 

“I’m going to be gone this weekend,” Louis informs Harry at dinner that night.

“Oh, really? I thought we were going to go visit my mum?” Harry doesn’t let the disappointment show in his voice. 

“I know, darling. We just found out about this teaching conference in London that we’re all required to attend. I’m really sorry. We leave Friday and we’ll be back in the evening on Sunday.” 

“Maybe I could go with you? You know how much I love the city. We could go out in the evenings…like we used to,” Harry suggests. There’s this pained expression that comes across Louis’ face and Harry braces himself for whatever excuse he’s about to say.

“The school is only paying for me to go. And I just figured that we’d want to put as much money as we can towards the house, you know?” Louis responds, pressing his lips together in a tight smile.

“You’re right. I didn’t think about that,” Harry says. (He refuses to let himself think about the house that Louis honestly hated.) They spend the rest of the evening watching a movie and Harry wonders how much longer he’ll be able to take this.

 

Louis leaves for London and Harry leaves for Holmes Chapel. His mum greets him with open arms, asking where Louis was. He simply says that he’s in London for work and refuses to talk about Louis anymore.

Gemma comes home that night, too. They spend the evening gathered around the dining room table, playing cards and talking about what’s been going on. Gemma announces that her and her husband, Michael, are currently trying for a baby and both Harry and Anne congratulate her.

 

This felt like home, Harry thinks. The apartment he lived in with Louis no longer felt like home. It felt like a place he stayed to keep him warm at night (even if he still felt cold). It wasn’t home. But here, the place he grew up, felt warm and loving.

Anne retires to bed early, leaving Harry and Gemma downstairs by themselves. “Now,” Gemma says, facing towards Harry, “are you going to tell me what’s really going on?” Gemma knew Harry better than anyone else and the minute she said that, Harry starts crying and he can’t stop. He couldn’t tell her what was wrong because right now, nothing seemed to be going right. 

Gemma doesn’t say anything, she just wraps her arms around him and lets him sob into her shoulder. And Harry continues to cry until he falls asleep on the couch. The next morning, his eyes are swollen and bloodshot and Gemma is still by his side, asleep. 

He leaves without saying goodbye.

 

When Louis gets home Sunday evening (as promised) Harry’s drunker than he’d been in a long time. “Heeyyy babe!” he greets, stumbling over the furniture in the living room.

“Why are you drinking?” Louis asks, and to Harry, he seems genuinely concerned. “I think that’s enough.” Louis tries to take the bottle of whisky from his hands but Harry yanks away.

“Nooooo!” Harry grants, his long body swaying, twisting and turning. He collapses onto the couch and Louis follows him into the living room. “I-I,” Harry begins to say but stops, taking another swig of the poison. 

Louis stands in front of him, dressed in sweats, a t-shirt, and a beanie. (Harry liked him best this way.) “Let’s get you to bed, okay love?” Louis suggests. 

He tries to help Harry yells, “Doot touch me!” And Louis takes a step back in utter horror. “I-I know everything, babe.” And suddenly, Harry doesn’t seem as drunk as he was two minutes ago. “How could you do this to me? Am I not goooood enough for you?” He’s crying now and fat tears are rolling down his porcelain cheeks. 

Louis feels like he’s going to pass out. “Babe…” but that’s all he can manage out because he doesn’t know what else to say. 

“I lobe you!” Harry drunkenly exclaims, pushing himself up onto his feet. “Doya understand what youu’ve done tome?” He’s stumbling over his words and drops the bottle onto the floor. “Why don’t wu lobe me, Lou?”

“Harry- I do love you. I love you more than everything in the world, I-,”

“Liar!” Harry tries to calm himself down but it isn’t working. The alcohol is intoxicating his mind and the room feels like it’s spinning in circles. All the bottled up feelings are starting to show. He spent a month acting oblivious to everything and it wasn’t fair. “Were you with him? Is tat why I couldn’t go with you?” 

Louis responds quietly with, “You’re the only one I love, Harry.”

“I’m tired of being lied to.” Harry sits down and doesn’t say anything. Louis stays standing, unsure of what else to do. After agonizing minutes of silence, Harry asks, “Why?” 

Louis sits down, rubbing his hands over his face. His cheeks are streaked with tears now, too. “I don’t know.” 

“Please, just leave.” Harry shocks himself when those words stumble out of his mouth. But he’s even more shocked and Louis gets up and heads out the door without another word. 

Oh, you can't hear me cry  
See my dreams all die  
From where you're standing  
On your own.  
It's so quiet here  
And I feel so cold  
This house no longer  
Feels like home.

**Author's Note:**

> It would be cruel not to make a part two... :-) Keep an eye out for when I do. Thanks for reading. xx


End file.
